I haven’t written anything recently and things have been pretty tough. I think I was laid off from my job. My employer cut my hours, has only paid me one paycheck since the end of July and is over 2 1/2 months behind in paying me. The last check I did receive only covered time I worked in May and June. It’s come down to me having to ask if I’m getting paid. Now trust me part of this IS my fault because I was letting her hold off until peak season to get caught up, she didn’t. Now I’m technically not laid off because I could have worked two days a week, but I would rather have my pay caught up first.
Life has just been really tough the past several years and nothing surprises me anymore. I always thought I was a good judge of trusting people, I fooled myself. I have done a poor job of career choices over the past eight years. Yes I thought I was always moving up to something, but each step seems to get me deeper into a hole. My trust is gone.
I’ve always heard that the grass is greener on the other side. Guess what it is, but it’s artificial turf. That seems to be how the people in my work life have been, my best friend to lure me and then thrown out like the weekly trash. I can’t deny that this isn’t taking a toll on me. I’m starting to feel punished.
I know I’m not without fault, but I know there needs to be an end to this misery. I have allowed too many to take advantage including a Catholic priest to a boss that covers herself in a “Christian Cloak.”. I’m not the final judge of what is right or wrong, but I do know kindness and generosity and they haven’t shown it.
That’s where I have been, once again struggling with my life. Once again playing the part of the gullible fool. Putting my heart and soul out there only to be crushed and destroyed. I have NO idea how this will play out, but for now I struggle for answers.