Whatever It Takes

It’s 9:00 pm on a Sunday evening.  I sitting at a location for a company doing temp work because for some reason I am unable to find any full time employment.  The latest unemployment statistics show that my state is at the lowest rate in 6 years, but I know I haven’t benefited from it.  I am stressed daily over this situation.  I am being frequently ridiculed and talked to condescendingly, by my wife.  I have never felt such internal pain as that that is coming from my situation.  It would be so easy to run, give up or just come apart.  Yes I could do any or all of these, but I have chosen to do whatever it takes to turn my life around and live the life God has intended for me.

My current situation is do to me doing what others wanted and expected of me and not what God or even myself have desired or expected of myself.  Life has been a major struggle for many years.  I have lost my drive and desire for life.  I live in a world that is constantly reminding of my failures.  I’m living in a world where I feel disposable and no longer of any need.  I work hard for those that I do find work with, but I cannot get that one break that I need.  No I haven’t given it up, but I do feel I’m struggling and I feel I lose a little of myself everyday.

I’m willing to do whatever it takes, but I’m not too proud to admit that a little help would be appreciated, yes God, I’m asking you.

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About weightingtobe

On a journey for a full life.
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