To say I have struggled is an under statement. To look back over my past 15 years is tough. I have blamed the world for a long time for my problems and misfortunes. I attempted to shift all blame and accept none of the responsibility. This has been the pattern for generations in my family. It is time to break the chain, to realize the only change will come from me with God steering the direction.
I have felt uncomfortable in my own skin. As I have stated time and time again, I am not living my own life, but the lives of others. I lost my passion, I lost hope and lost my peace. But no matter how bad things got and no matter how out of control things may have gotten, I have kept my faith. I have hung on to it by a thread at times, but I did hold on.
My levels of faith may have varied, but it has always been there. The reason it never stays at a high level is me and me only. God is consistent. Go is all loving. God has His plan for me, I just need to listen.
God has filled my heart with the desire to help. To help others in my situation of just stumbling through life. He has filled my heart with the desire to write, to reach as many as possible. To let them know it’s never too late. God wants the same for all of us, peace, love and joy. We will find this in listening to Him. Not with just our ears, but also our hearts and minds.
It’s time I listen. It is time to begin living the life God has intended for me.