I follow and read several other blogs in my efforts to find my true life with God. When those that were supposed to protect you, guide you and most of all unconditionally love you have have failed you, it is hard to believe that there is someone out there that you have never seen that wants all of that for you. He wants you to seek His happiness.
As I mentioned in my last post, I know God exists. I believe I see His work in so many places. A beautiful sunset, the beauty of so much nature around me. I see and hear it in the face, the smile and the laughter of a small child. My list can go on and on. The hard part for me is living day to day with all the negativity and anger built up in me.
To have been denied the feeling of a loving parent when they were right there your whole life is devastating. To realize you were not a gift, but a burden. You were not joy, you were disappointment leads to a life of pain and struggling. I realize its not my fault. I realize I need to rise above it. I believe my only way out of this nightmare is accepting the One that truly loves me.
I’m not sitting here typing and hearing a chorus of angels. I’m not feeling overcome with emotion, I just need this empty part of my heart filled with what it has always lacked.
My Heavenly Father I accept you. Please begin to fill my heart with the feeling of being loved as all of Your children deserve. I’m ready to move forward. I’m ready to enjoy the life that You have planned for me. Thank You for giving me the strength to move forward and the wisdom to know it is time.
Can I get an “Amen”