Graham, Rohn, Osteen, Robbins, Warren are just a few names that come to mind when I think back to all the self help books, tapes, disks, podcasts and videos that I have read, listened and watched over the years. There are so many that I can’t list them all, but they ALL have one thing in common they are voices in my head.
There been so many, discussing so many subjects, situations and solutions that it is so hard to keep it all straight. They are all good. They have all touched me one way or another, but still it’s created many voices in my head. They have a common theme, don’t lose yourself in the big picture.
As a child, my parents didn’t instill many great values in my sibblings and myself. They weren’t horrible parents, just unprepared by their own parents. I was part of the beginning of make life better for my kids than I had it. I wasn’t taught what it truly meant to be disciplined or the true value of a dollar. I existed in my parent’s eyes, but never made to feel a part of anything only a burden at times. I have blown many opportunities in my life because of the lack many important values.
I have never really had the knowledge of the tools available to deal with life’s issues such as adversity, conflict or loss. I never had the skills to deal with others except to be a people pleaser. I always was seeking what I didn’t know or didn’t have. The true feeling of being loved and accepted for just me.
Always feeling that void in me, I reached out to the “self help” gurus, to “men of God” to anything that I thought would fill the emptiness inside of me. I read. I listened. I watched. Always getting that 10 minutes of walking on clouds, feeling great, knowing it’s all going to be GREAT! That’s until reality smacks you right upside the head.
The next thing you know, it’s the same people, the same situations, the same life you had when you started on chapter one. You convince yourself things will never change and go right back to your old ways.
I have been going through a lot the past few weeks with my job loss and all my normal family issues. I dig deep inside reaching for the right words to hit me. The right words that I have read somewhere in thousands of pages or heard from hours of audio and video. I reach for that “God moment” that will transform my life, I’ve heard that from most of them.
I know my time will come. I give thanks to God for what I do have and giving me the knowledge and ability to search for the answers. Life is in no way easy and no one told me it would be, but I continue the faith. I continue to search for guidance and clarity. I continue to listen to the voices of the many and accept the guidance of the One.
So when I really feel I need to get guidance from it all I go back to chapter one.
1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.