I can’t even begin to tell you how much I have been praying since my last post. I think I have prayed more in the last few days then I have in the past ten years. I am struggling and I need my “moment of truth.”
My current situation, my anger, my hate and my current feelings of self doubt are no means a test of God, but a test of me. When I’m really feeling beaten up, I think of Job and his struggles, but most of all his undying Faith in God.
My current struggles are not a matter whether or not God will take care of me. It is a matter of do I have the faith to stick it out. Can I trust when so much trust has been taken from me. Can I be patient for His path, His guidance and His time frame when my patience has run out.
This is a test for me. This is a test to see how strong my faith truly is and do I truly listen to God. I pray for strength. I pray for direction. I pray for God to take all of this pain from me. Am I strong enough? This is my moment of truth.