The new wasn’t good, but the concern was even worse. I received a call from a doctor who was no longer my doctor that they had received test results ordered by another doctor. The news wasn’t good, stage 4 renal failure. The question that followed made it even worse, “Have you been sick?” HAVE I BEEN SICK? I called you 1 month ago that my blood sugar is 493, am I sick? Not a question you want to hear from your doctor that is treating you.
So I once again finding myself questioning my faith. My faith in the medical system that has been ruined by government and insurance companies. A system that has gone from its purpose of serving the health of its patients and serving bureaucrats, corporate managers and pharmaceutical companies. It’s a scary situation.
Out of four of my doctors I heard from only one. I assume that a 10% kidney function is ok. It was my multiple phone calls. My persistence that got any results, as minimal as they were. It is an eye opening experience and one that has given me urge to stop and reflect on many areas of my life.
It dawned on me of how the institutions of my life have totally let me down. Family, friends, church, medical, educational and employers all along my life have let me down. I played along. I let it happened by playing the fool. The past several years have brought everything full circle and it all leads back to me.
Yes I played the fool. I was, I didn’t learn from my mistakes/experiences, I let the same things happen time and time again. As I’ve mentioned hundreds of times before, my people pleasing got in the way of me learning and changing. I forfeited my happiness at the expense of others. Others that in the long run never will be happy. Living miserable and taking all others with them.
I don’t know where I’m headed other than into a brick wall unless I steer myself in a different direction and steer it quickly. Quick adjustment now and I will survive.